Justin, this one's for you...

Early Thursday morning, a dear friend of ours was taken from this earth. Justin Panzanaro was Evan's best friend from high school, and was instant friends with me after Evan and I started dating. Justin and I were "birthday buddies" sharing the same birthday, only he was one year younger than me.
I had gone out to lunch with a friend from work. We were laughing, chatting and having a good time. When I returned to my desk, I saw that I had a missed call not only on my desk phone, but also on my cell phone from my husband. This shook me because Evan never calls me at work, and he really never calls my desk phone. The message didn't have any detail, only to call him back ASAP. I was immediately worried, because I knew it would be bad news, I just didn't know what to expect.
Once I got Evan on the phone, he announced that he had "terrible news." "What is it?" I implored. "Justin passed away last night." I was immediately in shock. I knew it would be bad news, but I NEVER expected to hear those words on the other line. I told Evan I was leaving work to come home...there was no way I was going to stay at work in the state I was in. So, I packed up and went home.
Evan and I hugged each other for what felt like hours. This can't be real. Why him? What happened? How can he be gone? All these thoughts were flying through our heads. Evan has just talked to Justin last week, and he was fine. Our world was shaken.
Learning of Justin's death put so many things in perspective. I went on Facebook and saw plenty of people complaining about this, that, or the other thing. None of it mattered to me. Oh, you're a little overweight? Oh, you're mad at your friend? Oh, you don't get along with your family? Well, you should consider yourself lucky because at least you're alive. Justin had big plans for his future. He was working on a bunch of different TV shows, and he was on the school board in Middlesex. And just like that, his fragile life was cut short. It really makes you think, "it could have been me." Death is never easy to deal with, but at least when it's someone older, or someone who is ill, you sort of expect death to come. With this, we are just in shock. Justin wasn't sick, he wasn't suicidal, he wasn't even old. And now he's gone. We didn't get to say goodbye, we didn't get to see him one last time...nothing. Life is too short and too fragile.
The one thing Evan and I are taking comfort in is the fact that a few years ago, Evan had a conversation with Justin about heaven, hell, God, etc. Justin asked if he was going to hell. So, Evan explained to him that unless he accepted Jesus into his life, then yes, he was going to hell. So, Evan and Justin prayed together and Justin prayed to accept Jesus into his life. I'm not sure whether that prayer was genuine, but it's really not up to me. I am taking comfort in the fact that Justin may be up in heaven right now, in a better place. All I know is that God had a plan. I may not like it, but God had a plan for Justin. And now it's over.

We will miss Justin very much. He was a wonderful person, and a great friend. Rest in peace Justin...we love you.

Justin Lewis Panzanaro, 26, passed away Thursday, February 24, 2011 at home. Born in Plainfield, he was a life-long resident of Middlesex. Justin graduated Middlesex High School in 2002 before attending the New York Film Academy in Manhattan. He began his filming career as an apprentice for Entertainment Partners in Manhattan. Before advancing to production assistant then most currently to the "grips," Justin was currently working on many new release films including "Departed" and "Michael Clayton."

Justin was a member of the Middlesex Borough Board of Education since 2010 and the Middlesex Elks Lodge 1488. He was very instrumental donating films and assisting with the Middlesex High School video class.

He was a devoted son, grandson, brother, nephew and friend to all who knew him and will be sadly missed.