Friday, September 11, 2009

Remembering September 11th

Today I said to someone, "I don't think anyone will ever forget where they were and what they were doing on September 11th."
Eight years later, I haven't forgotten. The images I witnessed are scarred on my mind forever. Though I did not lose anyone close to me in the tragedy, that day was not any less sad and horrific. My heart genuinely goes out to those who did lose a loved one in the towers, and those that have lost loved ones in the war resulting from that day, and have been suffering ever since.

I had a rough start to my day. I had an 8:00am class, and my car was not running very well. I managed to get it started and drive to my Oma's house to ask if I could borrow her car for the day, just so I knew I would be safe getting to and from school. She graciously allowed me to borrow the car, and I left mine in front of her house. Off to school I went.
I arrived right on time for my morning class. Groggy and tired, I sat down at my desk and awaited the boring lecture that was to come. Thankfully, class let out early, so I had enough time to go home and come back for my afternoon class. I hurried out to the parking lot to find Oma's car. Now, Oma's car does not have a CD player, so I was listening to the radio. 95.5 PLJ to be exact. I NEVER listen to the radio, but this day, I was forced. When I turned on the car, the announcers had a very somber tone in their voices, and they were talking about "something terrible" that just happened. I think they were trying to get a look from outside their studio window. They mentioned something about planes, I couldn't really make it out. Then they said it..."A plane has just flown into the World Trade Center."
WHAT??? I said outloud. Kean University is quite close to New York City, and on my way home, I get a quick glimpse on the skyline before turning around on Rt. 22. And there it was, I saw black smoke billowing from the skyline. And, suddenly, I saw what looked like a raven coming out of the sky and into the 2nd tower.

It was so brief, but so memorable. The smoke, the 2nd plane, the horror. I couldn't believe it. I could barely drive, but I turned the radio up and listened very intently. They talked about another plane, which I had just seen. I raced home.
My brother Brad was home. I screamed, "Turn on the TV, something terrible has happened!" He was confused, but did so. It didn't matter what channel you turned to, it was on. The terrifying images of NYC, and the faces of people who were actually there - we saw it all. Brad and I were in shock. We watched together for a few more minutes, not saying a word to each other.
Suddenly, I felt the need to go to the video store where I worked at the time. Evan, who is now my husband, had been in the city the night before with his cousin Linda. My heart sank. "What if he's stuck in the city? What if he's hurt? What if something happened?" We weren't even dating at the time, but I prayed and prayed that he was ok, and I had to get to the video store to find out. When I pulled up, I saw his car there. I breathed a sigh of relief. All of our other colleagues were there as well, exchanging short sentences about how awful this was. We decided to head up to Washington Rock, where we might be able to get a good view of what was going on. We were able to get up, but only shortly because they closed the park soon after we got there.
I went back home soon after that to exchange cars with Oma again, and talked briefly with her about the tragedy. We cried together, and I thanked her and gave her the keys back.
I wasn't scheduled to work that night, but I knew that Evan was. I knew that he would be there alone, and I wanted to keep him company because I knew he was extremely upset. So, he and I worked together, almost in total silence. Out of boredom, I had made a paper airplane and threw it at Evan to kind of break the silence. Bad idea. "What are you trying to do, reenact it?" he snapped at me. "Sorry," I sheepishly replied. We decided to close early, mainly because of what had just happened, and virtually no one was coming in. I was planning to go to KFC for dinner, and asked Evan if he would like to join me. He declined, saying that he just wanted to be alone. So, I headed to KFC, he headed to the diner, and that was that.
Later that night, I was hanging out with my then boyfriend John and all of our friends. We were all talking about what had happened, and what we had been doing when it happened. There was a sad overtone to the group that was usually upbeat and cheery. We were trying to make predictions for what might happen next. Would we go to war? Would we fight back? Would any other buildings get flown into? How many lives were lost? Everything was a big question mark.

Our lives have never been the same since that fateful day. September 11th, an otherwise normal Tuesday is now immortalized as one of the greatest American tragedies. It is hard to believe that eight years have passed since that day.
God's love and grace be with all those who were affected in some way by that event.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Just realized that today is my 1 year anniversary of being a blogger! Yay!!

What The....?

As a youth leader, I am exposed to many many things that quite frankly, I would rather not be exposed to. But it comes with the territory, and I love my job as a youth leader, so I grin and bear it.
But recently, a new "phrase" has come on the scene in the form of an abbreviation known as "FML."
FML stands for F*** My Life. Students use this phrase when they are frustrated, angry, upset, or generally ticked off at something. You will mostly find it posted on their Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter pages. Something perhaps to the effect of: "Had to walk to school in the rain today. FML." "My boyfriend broke up with me. FML." "Mom made me clean up my room. FML." You get the idea.
Now, as a youth leader and as a Christian, I don't like the idea of my students using such words and phrases to describe how they're feeling. It's ok that they are upset or angry about something, but to sum it all up with "FML," to me, is a bit extreme and rather silly.
What I see is that students will use this phrase when things generally don't go their way. This seems to be the norm amongst students these days. What I am also seeing is that when things don't go their way, they quit or run away. Something got too hard? I quit. Getting too frustrated with something? I don't want to do it anymore. Things didn't work out as you planned? FML.
And there you have it. All of life's frustrations summed up in three little letters.

What really upsets me about the usage of this phrase is that it is being used by students who regularly attend either church or our youth group program. At church and at youth group, they are taught solid biblical principles that can be applied to their everyday lives. We try really hard as leaders to drill the points home and to challenge them to step up their faith at home, at school, wherever they are. We try to remind them that God is there for them no matter what, and even when they don't know where to turn, they can turn to God.
When we see things like FML being used by these students, it kind of deflates us because it feels like our words are falling on deaf ears. Rather than saying, "Had a bad day today, but God is good!" they resort to FML as though their life were falling apart at the seams just because something didn't go their way.
Do they even get it? Do they even realize that there is a gracious and loving God just waiting for them to come running to His arms? Do they realize that even if their life really is falling apart, that God is right there to put them back together? Do they just see it as the latest "cool" thing to do on Facebook?
Maybe I should just wait it out, because sooner or later, something else will come along, and FML will be DOA. Haha.